Sticks and Stones...

I grew up in quite a poor area (that’s since degenerated even more)on the west side of Birmingham, England. It was a multi-racial neighborhood, less than 30 yards from our front door lived Indian, Irish, English and Jewish families. Attending the local Primary school was a similar blend. As a young boy, still learning the language, I was exposed to a wide variety of school yard slang and epithets. Back then though it was pretty easy to figure out who was being slighted and why as the language had less subtlety.

A year or so before coming to Ganas I worked as a Counselor at a school for wayward 12 to 17 years old boys who were in trouble with the law, or family. Some were probably on their last chance before being locked up.

They had an incredible facility for language and it was really difficult for me to know if I was the target for a put-down. Their language changed rapidly too: a month later an old piece of slang wasn’t used anymore being replaced by some new syllables. I found it impossible to keep up so I started adopting a new approach. If a boy said something I didn't understand I'd make eye contact and ask if he'd explain it to me. I was often amazed how matter-of-factly he'd give an explanation. Some boys would just feign ignorance, some would grow silent, some would find something incredibly interesting to do instead.

All the above is a preamble to what is often going on today with language, with labels. In many ways negative labels and put-downs have become more subtle over time. The put- down Karen has been used recently, it’s craftily smart when woven into the Ganas term Karen Consent. 

Old White Guy is a put down that is really multi-faceted- look it up online. I suspect it's a very slippery put-down: if called on using it I’d guess it's pretty easy to say “Not you, I just meant those guys over there”.

Where does that leave us? I try my hardest not to use labels that have negative connotations, but I'll use labels that seem benign. Language routinely uses labeling, it's very hard to speak efficiently without using labels, especially if,like me, you try to think before you speak.

In my childhood there was the Rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will never harm me”. I often thought of that over the years. I'm not sure it's literally true: I think a lifetime of put-downs and negative language directed at people will have a cost. Best not to use them, I'd say. Even better to not think them.